Sigh, yeah that worked... not.

Well, um. I guess this weekend wasn't a failure but it wasn't a success either. My girlfriend and I got dressed up and went to the local bar. The first one we went to was nearly empty and the second was not very appealing either. I just called it a night because it wasn't worth it. First, I was surrounded by the kind of thing that caused my disgust in the first place and second, I was miserable. I don't like being miserable so we went back to my house and watched When Harry Met Sally and ate pizza.

Yeah, I hear you- bars aren't the place to meet anything worthwhile. They are filled with yucks and sex fiends. Oh, have I mentioned? Two years + since I have had sex. I get offers but they are always wrong. I have nothing against casual sex. But I do have something against casual sex where they don't want to please each other. Maybe it is twisted but I don't want anybody to be used. I want both parties to have a night of passion where they lose themselves. Not just a zip, grunt, smack on the ass, zip. My nymphomaniac best friend tells me just to do it and I'll feel better. I don't think so.

I really just want to be seen.

~Evangaline